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Our Curate - Revd Debbie Oades

Debbie Oades
The first thing you notice about Debbie is that she smiles a lot. There’s that infectious laugh too. She has good reason to be happy. A proud Yorkshire lass, a husband and two sons who excel at everything from music to sport, and now a vocation that is taking her to St James’s Church. And the church owes it all to Debbie’s intense dislike of badminton.

Debbie was born in ‘God’s Own Country’ of Yorkshire in 1963.

‘Both my husband and I are both Hull born and bred and are Hull Kingston Rovers supporters. We were brought up within a couple of miles of each other as children. I definitely feel I’m a Yorkshire girl - down to the point that I had white roses for my wedding. I lived with my grandparents when I was younger. My grandfather was a fisherman, so we were brought up on fresh fish from the docks. He had a big garden where he looked after rabbits and chickens, and there were orchards, which is where I discovered my love of gardening.’

The eldest of three children, Debbie developed a passion for music, which is how she met her husband. ‘We both progressed through all the city of Hull youth bands, concert bands and orchestras.’ Rob plays the euphonium, Debbie the clarinet and saxophone. ‘Then Rob joined the Humberside Police Band that I was already playing in, and shortly after that we started going out.’ They married in 1986 - ‘My husband regularly tells people you get less for murder!’ - and have two sons, Robert, 18, and just beginning a degree in photography at Falmouth University College, and Thomas, 15, studying for his GCSEs at Thamesmead High School, Shepperton.

Back then, Debbie’s career path had no real direction. ‘I’ve been a petrol pump attendant, a doctors’ receptionist, a medical secretary, a criminal records clerk, but it was through my music that I got into teaching. ‘A primary school teacher played clarinet in the police band and she asked me to help teach twins, as one had failed an exam, and I found I quite enjoyed it. Soon a private school asked if I would help them out - and before I knew it I had 60 pupils! It sort of took off, so I went off and did my Teaching Certificate with the Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music.’

Then in 1999 her husband’s job in the chemical industry brought the family to Staines. ‘I was trying to sort out my sons’ violin lessons and asked if there were any jobs. They asked when I could start!’ Debbie began teaching for Surrey County Arts in January 2000, travelling around the county to schools three days a week. ‘It was while this was happening that I found St Peter’s in Staines and got involved in music there, playing occasionally. Quite rapidly I wanted to do more in church, and it sort of grew and grew.

‘As a youngster I went to a Church of England primary school and then I was advised to go to a Catholic junior school because they were better for music and I think it was there that my faith started to develop. There were several nuns who taught us and we had services for every saint’s day there was - in fact it was amazing that we ever got any work done! ‘As a non-Catholic I wasn’t required to attend the services, but the teacher who used to oversee the library session that we had to go to instead was a badminton player. He knew I played table tennis (Debbie represented England) and wanted me to play in the badminton team, so I decided it was the better option to go to the church services - and I found that I liked them. It was there my faith started to take hold.’ There had always been a Bible at home, but Debbie grew up in a Christian family who believed, but didn’t necessarily go to church. ‘Then as a teenager, I started attending St. Columba, the local CofE church, on my own without telling people where I was going, but it wasn’t until I was getting married that Rob and I began going a little bit more often.’

Debbie’s route into the Church has been an indirect one. ‘I never wanted to be a minister - it wasn’t in my life plan! I was quite happy doing what I was doing, and thoroughly enjoying teaching. However over a short space of time there was a growing desire to get to church and I discovered Morning Prayer at St Peter’s. The pull became very strong, and was noticed by Revd Rod Cosh who said: “You seem quite desperate to get here.” I said: “I am. I wake up in the morning, get the children to school and need to come here to pray.” So we talked through what I was experiencing.’ Her involvement there soon extended to Eucharistic visiting, being a Sacristant, working on the Churches Together plan and setting up a Sing Praise Band. ‘I anticipated that each role would satisfy that pulling - but it didn’t.

At one particular service people were talking about their favourite hymns, and someone hadn’t turned up. Rod said: “Can you say something about it?” I took one look at the hymn and it was one of my favourites, As the deer, and as I stood up to say why, I knew at that moment that God was calling me to ordained ministry.’ Nevertheless, it made Debbie nervous. ‘It was the last place I wanted to be and I spent the next two years fighting it, but it wouldn’t go away. I got to breaking point as I knew what I was doing wasn’t enough and yet I didn’t think I was capable of doing what I was being asked to do.’

So she finally gave in. ‘I thought, OK God, let’s start the system and see what happens and if it’s meant to be it’ll be and if I’ve got it wrong then somebody will graciously tell me I’ve got it wrong. ‘Part of me was desperately hoping that somebody would, but they didn’t which came as a bit of a shock! From there things moved quite rapidly. I came along to see Brian Leathard (area Director of Ordinands) thinking he’d say no as well, and he didn’t. ‘Even when I finally plucked up courage to tell the whole family, nobody was surprised. As time went on I experienced a deepening sense of humility and trust, allowing me to let go of the reins and let God take the lead; peace at last!’ In 2003, Debbie began studying part time for a BA Hons degree in Contextual Theology at the North Thames Ministerial Training Course. On 1 July 2006 she was ordained deacon and on 24 June last year priest. For the past two years she has been an assistant Curate at The Good Shepherd, Hounslow West. ‘I still do double-takes if I walk past a shop window and see the clerical collar. It may not have been in my life plan, but it was in God’s and I wouldn’t change it for the world.’

Debbie is coming to St James’s as a SSM (Self Supporting Minister). ‘I think to go into stipendiary ministry straight off would not have been the right move from the family point of view, but I think that ultimately a ministry will take over.’ Debbie still teaches music (clarinet, saxophone and recorder), but now as private tuition at home two nights a week, so aims to be at St James’s for a good part of the week.
Gardening, music, rugby, fish and faith. A match made in heaven!

Source: Nick Bagge, The Spire Magazine, October 2008

Further Information
Contacts
Contact Debbie 01784 260498
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